February 21, 2014 10:14 p.m.

Dear Tink:

As I am sure you will recall (in fact, as I'm sure you will never, ever forget ...), yesterday your head became firmly lodged in the Kleenex box.  (Perhaps this will teach you to leave the Kleenex alone, though I doubt it.)

I admit, it was hilarious;  however, in the future, please wait until I have the video camera running before you attempt such a wonderful comic bit.  Now the rest of the world will be unable to point and laugh at you, as I so enjoyed doing.

Oh, and if you wish to continue posting your blogs, I recommend you stop chewing on the internet cable.  If you damage it, the internet could, at any time, simply stop wor

February 11, 2014 4:59 p.m.

Dear Tink:

Please stop knocking over my art supplies.

-Woman Who Feeds You



Dear Woman Who Feeds Me:

I will not stop knocking over the art supplies. Your art is garbage.

I will continue to knock them over until you learn to make use of the negative space. I am doing you and the entire art world a favor.

-Tink

February 8, 2014 3:03 a.m.

Dear Woman Who Feeds Me:

Please tell Strange Man to stop trying to play The Water Bottle Game with me. When I was a Tinker-Toddler, I enjoyed trying to catch the water sprays in my mouth. But I am a Tinker-Teen now, and it is no longer cool.

To make things worse, Strange Man always wants to play Water Bottle when I am in the middle of something important, like traipsing across the kitchen counter, eating the silk flowers, or reminding the other kitties of my importance with an unprovoked smack on the nose. I have tried running away when Strange Man sprays me, but he does not seem to understand that I no longer wish to play the game.

Between you and me, I am beginning to think he is incapable of learning.

Also, please stop picking me up and kissing me in front of the other kitties. It's embarrassing. And just because I purr when you do it doesn't mean I don't think it's lame. Because I totally do.

-Tink

January 27, 2014 12:03 a.m.

Dear Tink:

I really thought having you spayed would help you calm down. Instead, you appear to be running rampant through the house, at all hours of the night, looking for your lost uterus. I can assure you, it is not in my purse. Nor is it in the kitchen cabinets, the refrigerator, the dishwasher or under the blanket I use when I am asleep.

Also, I saw you take that $10 bill out of my purse. It is not a toy. Stop chewing it up and sliding it across the floor. And I sincerely hope you are not stealing money to spend on more catnip. You need to admit that you have a problem.

If I could figure out how, I would ground you.

-Woman Who Feeds You (and who really needs all the dollars in her purse)


P.S.  Hugh Jackman - It's time you started supporting this blog, as it is obviously providing you invaluable publicity. Please send money. Tink is eating all of mine.

January 25, 2014 3:57 p.m.

Dear Loyal Followers:

I realize many of you have been concerned with my recent lack of blog posts. I am embarrassed to admit that I suffered a bout of writer's block. Please know that this had absolutely nothing to do with Woman Who Feeds Me's extended absence from the household. Strange Man said she was somewhere in "Florida." I assumed this was where humans go to die.

But I was certainly not depressed; nor was I drowning my sorrow in a cloud of gin and opiates. Although, Strange Man did offer me some; but I suspect it was merely an effort to further restrain me.  I do not like him.

Woman Who Feeds Me has now returned.  Though I am totally indifferent to her presence, I do prefer her to Strange Man.

Much has happened over the past 3 weeks.  I will endeavor to recount all of the events in my coming posts.

Thank you for your patience and continued loyalty.

-Tink

January 23, 2014 10:33 p.m.

Tink v. Old School Atari

She prefers Coleco Vision.  As does the Woman Who Feeds Her.

January 22, 2014

Oh, Tink.