Dear Tink:
Under no circumstances am I going to approve your release
from The Clowder House on Wiswell. In fact, I am placing you under arrest for
the attempted murder of one blue-tailed skink.
As the Arresting Officer, I personally witnessed the crime.
The details are as follows:
On or about Friday, September 5, 2014, I entered the dining
room of The Clowder House on Wiswell. There, I saw one Tinker Minion Nuisance
Horcrux Johnson (you) scurrying about with something under her (your) paws. Upon
closer inspection, it proved to be a blue-tailed skink.
Despite your obvious resistance, I was able to secure the
skink and place it safely outside. Upon returning to the dining room, I saw you
with a piece of the skink's blue tail hanging out of your mouth. You quickly
dropped it and ran away.
Fortunately for you, shedding its tail is part of the
skink's natural defense system. Predators like you (That's right. I called you
a predator.) are attracted to the skink's blue tail. When they attempt to grab
it, it falls off and the skink then grows another. Therefore, it is presumed that the skink was
unharmed. You, however, will not be.
As Arresting Officer, Judge, Jury and Supreme Overlord of
The Clowder House on Wiswell, I am hereby confining you to the library (again)
to await sentencing.
Pray that the Court is merciful.
-Woman Who Feeds You, (aka Supreme Overlord)
