Hello and welcome to my blog! My name is Tinker and I am a kitten. I was so named because I cannot seem to leave anything alone (or so they say.) I prefer to be called Tink.
On the afternoon of September 10, 2013, I was running down the middle of Galbraith Road in Cincinnati. Yes, I know, Galbraith is an awfully busy street for a kitten as tiny as I. But I was assured that following the yellow line in the middle of the road would take me to see The Cat Wizard. I think the kitty who told me this may have been high on catnip.
Anyway, as I was following the yellow line, a car swerved and almost hit me. Startled, I ducked into the nearest gas station to regain my composure. At that exact moment, the door of a creepy van opened and I was snatched up by a woman calling herself my “rescuer.” She is clearly insane as I have obviously been kidnapped.
This blog details my communications with this woman, who does at least bring me food periodically. If anyone finds these letters, please, PLEASE help me to escape?
Tink:
ReplyDeleteI am very well aquainted with Women Who Feeds Me as she is the youngest of my litter. So, I guess that makes me your Ditzi Grand-Cat Mother. I just want to make you aware that Woman Who Feeds You has at least one other alias, Goatgirl, due to the fact that she has an unnatural affection for smelly creatures called "Goats." She is absolutely ga-ga over these animals, especially the babies, and it wouldn't surprise me at all if she has some of those imprisoned in the "home" as well. If so, I would suspect that they can be found in the cellar. This is a very dark, damp, dreary place, and I wouldn't advise you to visit there-ever! Should you meet up with a very large creature with long legs that springs into the air from a standing start, turns in a full circle, and lands on its feet while bleeting bah-bah-THAT is a goat. Did I also mention the smell? Should you encounter this creature, it would be in your best interest to turn tail and run as fast as you can as these creatures also engage in the primitive practice of head butting. Did I mention head butting already? Just be advised that no amount of kitty-biting will deter these creatures from committing acts of mayhem on your little kitty body. You have been forewarned!