Dear Loyal Followers:
I am overjoyed (mostly) to report that
yesterday, my escape attempts finally proved successful!! I cannot thank
you enough for your support in this endeavor.
Unfortunately, things did not go exactly as I
had hoped.
I wish I could say I carefully planned my
escape. But in truth, I merely seized upon a sudden and unexpected
opportunity: the open door.
Woman Who Feeds Me got sloppy and made a
mistake. I suspected this might happen, but I had no idea how stupid she
would be. While opening the front door to the prison, she left it wide
upon for a fraction of a second. I wasted no time. Sprinting through
the open door and darting past her feet, I ran as fast as my little paws would
go. Then I smelled the sweet scent of freedom. And car exhaust.
I coughed heavily as I ran through the cloud of
toxic fumes coming out of the metal menace, but I was determined to find a
hiding place. I quickly dashed under a bush and then through a fence. I
could hear Woman Who Feeds Me screaming my name, but I soon left the highly
irritating sound of her voice behind, and it was then that I knew - I was truly
free.
I stopped and looked around, taking in the view
of beautiful grass and flowers, trees and shrubs. And then - a squirrel!
My instincts took over, and I darted after it - chasing it for what must
have been miles. To my dismay, it averted me by climbing a tree. I tried
to follow, but my tree climbing skills have suffered since my incarceration.
I sat for what felt like an eternity waiting for it to come back down,
but it must have sensed my superiority and resigned itself to stay put. I
grew bored, and decided to reward myself for my brilliant escape with a
well-deserved nap.
I found a sunny spot and closed my eyes.
It was heavenly. I awakened some time later to find a large bug
staring at me. Terror! Its eyes were enormous! I bolted away
and quickly felt something damp on my paws. A mud puddle! Oh
glorious fun! I played and played - splashing and pouncing in the puddle.
It was wet and filthy and wonderful!
When I had finally exhausted all the joy from
the mud, I realized I was soaking wet. And quite cold. I began to
shiver. Oh no! How would I ever get warm again? Where would I go? I wandered and wandered - looking for any place safe and warm where I could
recover. But there was no shelter in
sight. I began to miss the warmth of my
cell. The soft padded cushions on which
I had slept felt miles away.
My stomach growled in protest. Oh no!
Freezing AND hungry? I would
surely be dead in minutes. I thought of
Woman Who Feeds Me. Or Fed me, at
least. She would never bring me food
again. Oh, how I longed to see her feet
as she poured that delectable substance into my bowl. And then cradled me in her arms and stroked my
head. I actually missed her.
I knew instantly. I had to return. But
where was she? How could I ever find her? I looked around for something familiar.
I closed my eyes and tried to smell her.
Nothing. I perked up my ears for
the grating sound of her voice. I
began to hear my name.
"Tinker! TINK!" But from which direction?? She could be anywhere.
It was then that I felt the small tug inside
me. Instinct. The same feeling I had experienced when I
first saw the squirrel. But this was
different. It carried with it a single
word. Home. I began to follow it.
I must have wandered for hundreds of miles, but
eventually, I saw the familiar porch from which I had so foolishly run. Exhausted and near starvation, I crawled up
the steps, crying furiously for someone to rescue me. Hours later, Woman Who Feeds Me appeared at
the door. She seemed so relieved. She quickly scooped me up and carried me
inside.
"Oh Tink!" she exclaimed. "Thank goodness you're okay! It's dangerous out there!"
I was too tired to agree, so I simply purred to
let her know I was happy to see her.
"I was so worried about you! You were gone for almost 10 minutes!"
Bad Bad Bad Kitty. Enough said.
ReplyDelete