Dear Tink:
This morning, I was awakened at 6:02 a.m. (far too early for a woman who does not have to go to work), by the sound of you digging in my purse. You quickly pulled out a dirty kleenex (I'm not proud) and began chewing it up. This is a disgusting habit. Far more disgusting than me keeping dirty kleenex in my purse.
After taking said kleenex away from you, and putting it in the zipped portion of my purse (again, I'm not proud, but I was sleepy and the trash can was an entire room away), I attempted to go back to sleep. I immediately heard the sound of more digging. When I looked down, you had extracted from my purse yet another dirty kleenex. I sighed in exasperation, grabbed my purse and began searching it for dirty kleenex. I removed all the dirty kleenex from my purse (seriously, there weren't that many), and threw them away.
When I came back into the room, I discovered you playing. With another dirty kleenex. WHERE ARE YOU FINDING THESE THINGS?? And more importantly, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH THEM???
At this point, I can only assume you are manifesting them yourself. And if you are capable of manifesting things, please start manifesting your own food and water. And someone to clean your litter box. And Hugh Jackman. If you can get Hugh Jackman to clean your litter box, well I guess that's one less thing.
Although you seem to prefer dirty kleenex, I did also find you with your head in the kleenex box last night. I can only assume you were attempting to pull the unused kleenex from the box. This is obviously some sort of karmic payback, as I used to do the same thing to my mother when I was a baby. So I suppose I can't be mad at you for that, as karma is, in fact, a bitch.
But you really do need to stop with the dirty ones. It is gross.
And please stop chewing up my shoes. That is something dogs do. It is beneath you.
You are about to be in Tinker-Trouble.
-Woman Who Feeds You (And is Tired of Cleaning Up the Dirty Kleenex)
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