Dear Tink:
There seems to be some confusion regarding the rules of the household. For clarification, here is a list of places you are not allowed to occupy. And don't try to deny it. I have found you in every one of these places in the last week.
The kitchen table
The kitchen counter
The dining room table
The kitchen trash can
The bathroom trash can
The top of the pile of clean laundry
(dirty laundry is acceptable, though you seem to have no interest in it)
Snowball's bed while Snowball is in it
Penny's box while Penny is in it
Pumpkin's head
The dishwasher
The refrigerator
My purse
The lap of anyone sitting on the toilet
The toilet
The inside of the piano
The top of the curtains
The planter
My dinner plate
My water glass
The top of the coffee maker
Strange Man's coffee cup
The ceiling fan blades are also off limits. Though I have not yet found you up there, I've seen how you look at them. Don't even try it.
I have managed to make it to age 41 without ever being responsible for a two-year-old. I do not now intend to be held hostage by a Tinker-Toddler.
Sincerely,
Woman Who Feeds You
P.S. To Hugh Jackman (who reads this blog religiously) - these rules do not apply to you. I will also send you a private message containing a list of other areas you are allowed and encouraged to occupy.
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