Dear Scurvy-Ridden Scullery Wench:
Ahoy! Today be International Talk Like a Pirate-Kitty Day! I be waitin' fer ye in the bilge rat. Bring me some grog and a fried parrot!
No? I should have known you wouldn't understand pirate-speak any better than you understand kitty-speak.
-Sigh-
You are so stupid. But on to business.
Yesterday, you attempted to outfit me with a remote monitoring device. Obviously this means my escape attempts are improving and instilling you with fear. Unfortunately for you, it took me under 2.4 seconds to escape from the poorly-fitted noose you placed around my neck. You will find it in the litter box where it belongs.
But be forewarned. If you attempt to place it on me again, I shall become very unpleasant. And don't even think about trying to tighten it. I will feign choking until you remove it.
-Tink
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